Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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