The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
