Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
