Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
