I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
