i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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