New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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