This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.