...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
