I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
