Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
