So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
