You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
