he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
