You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
