absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
