Pappa wants mamma naked
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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