Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
