I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
