there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
