It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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