You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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