dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
