yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
