I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
