A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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