If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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