You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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