oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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