Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
