i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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