Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
