I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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