Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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