My liver just broke up with me...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize