let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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