I wannas sexs uuuuu
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
