just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
