you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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