I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
