White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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