Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
