matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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