Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
