I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
