Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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