this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
