Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
