Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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