I hope mine doesn't look like that
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
