so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
