Its about making memories worth repressing
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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