wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
