Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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