Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
