Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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