its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
