So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
