i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
